Part Four: Old Friends
I love this coffee shop. It was just one of the few thoughts that passed through my mind as Chris and I made our way across the city square to Black and Brew. The night was beginning to chill but not enough to be cold- not just yet. I hadn’t spent much time with Chris lately and was looking forward to the chance to catch up. City streets illuminate with Christmas lights, a nip of winter so close you could almost taste it- it was definitely a coffee night.
Black and Brew was quiet as we ordered and found a cozy table for two. We laughed and shared like old friends as that is just what we were. It’s funny to think about really, how we had grown to be old friends who caught up over coffee. A year and a half ago we were almost dating, six months ago we spoke for the first time in nearly six months, and today we were old friends. We talked about school and life and what the next few months held for us. We laughed at times past and from a distance both quietly wondered about what might have been. He would reach across the table to play with my keys, I would look deeply into my cup and twirl the stir stick. Never was it said, never will it need to be.
As conversations so often do, very soon the topic turned to our dating lives. He asked about mine, I talked about the same boy I always do. I related a tale of heartbreak, confusion and hope. He shared a story of nearly the same. And in the midst of it all without even knowing, we let ourselves get swept away into the face of God, wondering aloud how He sees all this.
It was in that conversation that I found the love I had so deeply longed for.
My attention was focused across the table when the whisper caught me off gaurd.
“I want you, I want all of you.”
I sat back, a little confused. No, it wasn’t Chris speaking to me. It wasn’t even something I had audibly heard. My maker was speaking… I closed my eyes and took a deep breath…
I could hear the words over and over and over… until all I could do was respond.
“You do, don’t you Lord? You really want all of me. You want to show me fulfillment I could never find in a guy, a love I never thought I deserved. I’ve failed to see this until now. Wow, you want me, all of me.”
And just like I sat there sharing coffee with an old friend, I began a journey all over again of sharing love with another old friend I had missed so dearly.
