January 2, 2010
It’s a new year. I welcomed in 2010 by being asleep at 10:30 so I could get up and arrive at work by 8:30. It’s not that I completely chose to go to bed then. I just didn’t have anything to do, or anyone to do it with. I was alone.
There is one thing I’ve found to be the most haunting about life after graduation- how lonely it is. I’m not just sure if that’s because everyone I would spend time with is on Christmas break and therefore not in Florida or if this really just how it will be. I guess time will tell in the next few weeks. For now, it’s just an empty apartment and me.
I need to make some new years resolutions so here they are:
One. I want to get back into that place of being intentional with God. I guess I didn’t realize how much I depended on the “lifestyle” of Southeastern for that until I got on my own and realized that I don’t have those same pressures anymore. I don’t have chapel or a “loving Pentecostal community” of friends, fellow students and staff to get that from. I have to do this on my own now. I don’t just stumble into “God moments” anymore, I actually have to seek them out and become more intentional. It’s strange to feel this way, so separated from what used to come so easily.
Two. I am going to finish my budget. And then, I’m going to live by it.
Three. I want to really volunteer more and I want it to be somewhere that matters. I think I’ll call Peace River and see if they could use some helping hands.
Four. I have some “carol issues” I need to work out. Like how to be a better friend, how to get a grip on my emotions and honestly, just figuring out who I am now. College is over I am not really that girl anymore. So, who am I?
Five. Find the man of my dreams. Just kidding, I want to really start chasing my dreams though. I want to learn Russian and create a “five year” plan to provide some guidelines.
Six. Journal more. Starting, later.
… we’re frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times.
